10 Ways to Work With People You Hate

You know who we're talking about -- that one coworker who just gets under your skin. Working alongside someone you can't stand can undermine your own effectiveness, but uncomfortable relationships are part of life.

"There are always other people - be they relatives, fellow commuters, neighbors, or coworkers - who we are at risk of tangling with," said Robert Sutton, a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University and author of Good Boss, Bad Boss and The No Asshole Rule, to the Harvard Business Review.

Worst Bosses Ever author Daniel Goleman, co-director of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University, says you can manage these folks by focusing less on their actions and controlling your own behavior. Relaxation exercises, he told HBR, "enhance your ability to handle stress, which means the annoying person isn't that annoying anymore."


10 Ways to Work With People You Hate

1-Keep it to Yourself.
Emotions are contagious. Venting about a coworker can bring everyone down.

2-Avoid Gossip.
Complaining about a coworker could give you a reputation for being unprofessional or difficult.

3-Ask if You're the Problem.
Consider what it is that gets under your skin. Jealousy? Are you just very different?

4-Focus on Behavior.
If someone has traits you can't stand, focus on their actions instead. It can help you fend off irritation.

5-Count Thine Enemies.
If there's someone you hate at every job, maybe it's not them; it's you.

6-Exposure Therapy.
Working on a project with someone you hate can help you develop empathy and understand them.

7-Bright Lines.
If someone acts immorally or goes on the offensive, staying away is wise.

8-Speak Up.
If nothing else works, proceed cautiously and try giving feedback; stay open to negative feedback about yourself, too.

9-DOs:

Do Manage your own reaction first.

Do Practice emotional detachment - don't let it bother you.

Do Spend time trying to get to know and understand your coworker.

10-DON'Ts:

Don't Assume that it is all about the other person - you likely play some part.

Don't Commiserate with others who could be influenced by your negativity or may judge you instead.

Don't Give feedback unless you can focus on work and avoid personal conflict.

By Jennifer Lawinski / Baseline